Better Late than never

March 30, 2011

So as I titled this blog my thought was that it had been a long time since I had posted anything but as I typed the title something else came to mind.  I have been working very hard lately on overcoming my co-dependency with a new therapist, Ola.  I really like her because she is very direct and while she is empathetic to what I am feeling she is not afraid to challenge me and recognizes that I do not do sympathy well.  Anyway, this week we talked a lot about how I function cerebrally and not so well emotionally and she was pleased to see that my softer side was coming out.  That I was beginning to operate more maturely in the emotional realm hence the title better late than never.  While I wish that I had matured emotionally long ago, it is better to be a late bloomer than to never bloom at all. 

I am pretty sure that I have completely lost my mind today.....I registered for three of the six classes that I need to complete before I can begin writing my dissertation and earn a doctorate in teaching and learning.  I know it is crazy, what with being a single mother of 4 kids but if I want to get paid for it by the state of Ga. then it is now or never.  For some reason the phrase "I think I can, I think I can" comes to mind.

While I am on the subject of me, I must toot my own horn just a little bit.  Recently, I took the GRE and did well on it though my score was 10 points under what GSU wanted on the Verbal section but 1.5 points over on a 6 point scale on the writing portion and 20 over in Math,  Yeh, go figure, who would have ever thought that Math was a strength for me.  Certainly no one who knows me very well.  So, I mistakenly thought that GSU would grant me an interview.  They did not.  They did however, grant an interview to at least one other candidate who did not score as well as I did on the GRE.  My old self would have been devastated and felt stupid and unworthy.  My new self, thought, the Universe is trying to teach me a lesson here.  Hmm....could that lesson be that acceptance into this program does not in any way define my intelligence?  Then my new self thought, hmm....would it not make a lot more sense to complete my degree at Liberty in half of the time and at half of the cost of beginning again at GSU?  Why, yes, new self that makes a lot more sense.  Now, many of you will not be impressed with the realization that the new self had but those who know me well will know what a gigantic step in the mature emotionally direction that one was.

Final thoughts:  Meditation is not as ridiculous as I once thought, Yoga is worth the time and effort, and there are only two more school days until Spring Break begins.  Oh, and just in case you are reading this hoping for something profound....wait for it......here it comes.....nope, not gonna happen tonight.  I have nothing profound to offer.  You will have to check back later and see if I can come up with something profound to share.